funny Quotes funny Sayings 7

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funny quotes 7

"If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either."
Dick Cavett

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Brooke Shields

"You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label."
Mark Twain

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
Dave Barry

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."
Groucho Marx

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funny quotes 7

"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
Steven Wright

"For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off."
Johnny Carson

"I've often thought that the process of aging could be slowed down if it had to go through Congress."
George Bush

"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."
David Letterman

"Work is the curse of the drinking classes."
Oscar Wilde

"Arrogant and right is surely better than humble and wrong."
Geoff Arbuthnot

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