funny Quotes funny Sayings 5

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funny quotes 5

"If it weren't for the killings, Washington would have one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
Mayor Marion Barry

"Seven out of ten people suffer from hemmorhoids." Does this mean that the other three enjoy it?
Sal Davino

"Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are driving taxi cabs and cutting hair."
George Burns

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
Richard Jeni

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
Napoleon Bonaparte

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funny quotes 5

"A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said 'no'."
Woody Allen

"I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet."
Henry Youngman

"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
Emo Philips

"Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time."
Steven Wright

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