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My grandfather was a very insignificant man, actually. At his funeral his hearse followed the other cars.
Woody Allen

To err is dysfunctional, to forgive co-dependent.
Berton Averre

We're different; we're the same.
Richard David Bach (1936- ) author; Jonathan Livingston Seagull,

The function of RAM is to give us guys a way of deciding whose computer has the biggest, studliest, most tumescent MEMORY. This is important, because with today's complex software, the more memory a computer has, the faster it can produce error messages. So the bottom line is, if you're a guy, you cannot have enough RAM.
Dave Barry

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
George Burns

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funny quotes 2

"I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx

"Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress."
Joan Rivers

"Is he just doing a bad Elvis pout, or was he born that way?"
Freddie Mercury on Billy Idol

"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
Rita Mae Brown

"If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight."
George Globol

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